Last month's news focused on the staff's interest in the
presidential campaign, as well as the sudden re-
appearance of V.P. Boo Hoo's evil twin Gess. These
days the hottest topic around the water cooler has to do
with the new office intern. His orange and white coloring,
wide-eyed stare, and fascination with aquatic creatures,
has led some to speculate that "Junior", as Pres. & CEO
Mickey has taken to calling him, is actually the Mick's
love child with that oh so temporary temp Missy
Tunabreath (see Jan. update). There's concern from the
other male staff that the youngster's presence may spell
trouble down the line as far as their standing in the office
hierarchy.
But Boo's been trying to keep his mind off any potential
threat posed by "Junior" and brother Gess' unexplained
presence by writing his memoirs. Noticing the great
popularity of the book Eat. Pray. Love, he has decided to
try and cash in on the phenomenon with a tome about
his own spiritual journey titled Eat. Eat. Eat. He figures
with the obesity rate being what it is in America, the book
is sure to be a runaway best-seller. Food has always
been Boo's Holy Grail, and, judging from his size, he's
been an ardent seeker on that particular spiritual path
his whole life. In fact, when he signed up to be initiated
into Transcendental Meditation a number of years ago,
he put in a special request that his mantra be "donut."
That request was denied—a fact that still confounds him
to this day, especially since the mantra he was given
sounds nothing like something you could eat. He can't
imagine how that could help lead to enlightenment? It got
him to wondering if that Maharishi dude really knows
what he's doing.
Boo's not the only one in the office these days with
literary aspirations. Karma has decided to pen an advice
column titled "Listen Up, Fools." Apparently she thinks
everyone is in dire need of her brand of age-less (sage-
less?) wisdom and professional guidance. After all, she
did graduate from USCC (the University of Smart-ass Cat
Counseling). Needless to say, if she doles out her advice
like she handles the Customer Service Dept. (see "About
Us"), it should make for some interesting answers to
readers brave enough to write in with questions!
presidential campaign, as well as the sudden re-
appearance of V.P. Boo Hoo's evil twin Gess. These
days the hottest topic around the water cooler has to do
with the new office intern. His orange and white coloring,
wide-eyed stare, and fascination with aquatic creatures,
has led some to speculate that "Junior", as Pres. & CEO
Mickey has taken to calling him, is actually the Mick's
love child with that oh so temporary temp Missy
Tunabreath (see Jan. update). There's concern from the
other male staff that the youngster's presence may spell
trouble down the line as far as their standing in the office
hierarchy.
But Boo's been trying to keep his mind off any potential
threat posed by "Junior" and brother Gess' unexplained
presence by writing his memoirs. Noticing the great
popularity of the book Eat. Pray. Love, he has decided to
try and cash in on the phenomenon with a tome about
his own spiritual journey titled Eat. Eat. Eat. He figures
with the obesity rate being what it is in America, the book
is sure to be a runaway best-seller. Food has always
been Boo's Holy Grail, and, judging from his size, he's
been an ardent seeker on that particular spiritual path
his whole life. In fact, when he signed up to be initiated
into Transcendental Meditation a number of years ago,
he put in a special request that his mantra be "donut."
That request was denied—a fact that still confounds him
to this day, especially since the mantra he was given
sounds nothing like something you could eat. He can't
imagine how that could help lead to enlightenment? It got
him to wondering if that Maharishi dude really knows
what he's doing.
Boo's not the only one in the office these days with
literary aspirations. Karma has decided to pen an advice
column titled "Listen Up, Fools." Apparently she thinks
everyone is in dire need of her brand of age-less (sage-
less?) wisdom and professional guidance. After all, she
did graduate from USCC (the University of Smart-ass Cat
Counseling). Needless to say, if she doles out her advice
like she handles the Customer Service Dept. (see "About
Us"), it should make for some interesting answers to
readers brave enough to write in with questions!
| AROUND THE WATER COOLER/BOWL....further updates on the behind the scenes office news... |
| "Junior" New office intern and love child of Mickey & Missy? Does his presence signal that Boo & Little Boy should be concerned about losing their place in the office hierarchy? |
| Mickey President, CEO and Missy's stud muffin, or just stuffed with muffins? |
| Missy Tunabreath Ex-temp temptress & Junior's biological mom? Is her wide-eyed stare & fascination with all things aquatic a dead giveaway of their actual relationship? |
| Boo Hoo All One's shy & retiring V.P., busy penning Oprah's next Book Club featured read, or foolishly chasing a dream of literary prominence & food-based enlightenment? |
As we close out this edition of the news we can only
wonder what kind of scheme Gess may be plotting
against poor Boo. Could this picture to the right,
with "Junior" staring down the barrel of a gun, be a
glimpse of things to come?Did the unsuspecting
new intern somehow end up in the middle of Gess'
vendetta with his twin brother? Will the next news
update unfortunately be titled "Who shot J.R.?" or
"Hoo shot J.R.?", or maybe even "Gess Hoo shot
J.R.!" Inquiry minds, and anyone with apparently
way too much time on their hands, want to know.
Stay tuned...
wonder what kind of scheme Gess may be plotting
against poor Boo. Could this picture to the right,
with "Junior" staring down the barrel of a gun, be a
glimpse of things to come?Did the unsuspecting
new intern somehow end up in the middle of Gess'
vendetta with his twin brother? Will the next news
update unfortunately be titled "Who shot J.R.?" or
"Hoo shot J.R.?", or maybe even "Gess Hoo shot
J.R.!" Inquiry minds, and anyone with apparently
way too much time on their hands, want to know.
Stay tuned...
| Gessbert (aka Gess) Hoo Back in town & hell-bent on revenge? Is he behind the threatening card sent to Boo and does he have something even more diabolical up his sleeve?! |
| Karma Will her advice column turn her into to a cross between Judge Judy & Dr. Phil on steroids?? Inquiry minds are afraid to know! |
Previous editions: Jan. Staff News , Feb. Staff News Further updates |
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Other office news includes the staff Valentine's Day party, where this "day
for lovers" was celebrated with food, festivities, and everyone exchanging
cards. But judging from the one Hunky gave Karma, apparently there is
still no love lost between those two. And Boo received a menacing card
from an "anonymous admirer" that left him wondering who would send
such a card. No one gave Little Boy a card, but that didn't stop him from
sending 5 to himself, all addressed to "The World's Greatest Little Lover
Boy" and containing snippets from a sonnet he wrote to himself titled "How
Do I Love ME? Let me count the ways...". Ah, you've got to love his
irrepressible machismo.
CEO Mickey slipped out of the party early, likely for a clandestine tryst with
ex-temp Missy. After knoshing on Gorton's fish sticks, downing tuna-tinis
(martinis made with tuna flavored vodka), and Hunky, as usual, ambushing
Karma on the way to the ladies' powder room, the rest of the staff called it
a night, as well.
for lovers" was celebrated with food, festivities, and everyone exchanging
cards. But judging from the one Hunky gave Karma, apparently there is
still no love lost between those two. And Boo received a menacing card
from an "anonymous admirer" that left him wondering who would send
such a card. No one gave Little Boy a card, but that didn't stop him from
sending 5 to himself, all addressed to "The World's Greatest Little Lover
Boy" and containing snippets from a sonnet he wrote to himself titled "How
Do I Love ME? Let me count the ways...". Ah, you've got to love his
irrepressible machismo.
CEO Mickey slipped out of the party early, likely for a clandestine tryst with
ex-temp Missy. After knoshing on Gorton's fish sticks, downing tuna-tinis
(martinis made with tuna flavored vodka), and Hunky, as usual, ambushing
Karma on the way to the ladies' powder room, the rest of the staff called it
a night, as well.
Hunky's valentine to Karma
| Just who (Gess Hoo?) is behind Boo's anonymous valentine? |